My Encounter with Satan
SO there I am pulling into my driveway after a pain in the ass day at work. I open the garage door and I cruise on into the house and greet the 95 lb puppy. Lars immediately starts spazzing like he usually does. I swear my dog must have a few screws loose but hey ya gotta love the sweet puppy. I look up at the clock and see it is 6 pm. I've gone all day without the end of the world happening (though the cheesy Satan's chat on a local radio station made me want to shoot myself) so I mumble to myself about getting my lazy ass up on the treadmill it is Tuesday after all.
Anyways I let the boy in from playing outside and I change into my workout clothes. I screw around a bit watching TV and checking out the internet then realize its 7 pm. GOD DAMN IT!! "Move your ass" I say to myself and I walk into our pantry and I grab a treat for the puppy and as I am leaving I hear a thud and a crack. Well I figured it was a can of soup so I will pick it up when I make dinner after I work out.
After an hour on the treadmill I take my shower and head back downstairs to make some dinner. Once again I get greeted by a spazzing puppy who hasn't seen me in over a week!! Actually it was only a little over an hour. Like I said he has a few screws loose. Anyways I head on into the pantry to get some rice for dinner and I look down.......
aaawww MOTHER FUCKER!!!! There was Satan laughing at me!!!! What fell earlier was a jar of molasses and it had leaked out of the jar all over the floor. This crap has been sitting out for over an hour now. This shit is thick and sticky to begin with!!!!! I spent the next 45 minutes cleaning up this frikkin mess!!!
SO SCREW YOU SATAN SCREW YOU RIGHT IN THE ASS!!!! That shit was the biggest pain in ass crap that I ever had to clean up off of a floor!!
Anyways I let the boy in from playing outside and I change into my workout clothes. I screw around a bit watching TV and checking out the internet then realize its 7 pm. GOD DAMN IT!! "Move your ass" I say to myself and I walk into our pantry and I grab a treat for the puppy and as I am leaving I hear a thud and a crack. Well I figured it was a can of soup so I will pick it up when I make dinner after I work out.
After an hour on the treadmill I take my shower and head back downstairs to make some dinner. Once again I get greeted by a spazzing puppy who hasn't seen me in over a week!! Actually it was only a little over an hour. Like I said he has a few screws loose. Anyways I head on into the pantry to get some rice for dinner and I look down.......
aaawww MOTHER FUCKER!!!! There was Satan laughing at me!!!! What fell earlier was a jar of molasses and it had leaked out of the jar all over the floor. This crap has been sitting out for over an hour now. This shit is thick and sticky to begin with!!!!! I spent the next 45 minutes cleaning up this frikkin mess!!!
SO SCREW YOU SATAN SCREW YOU RIGHT IN THE ASS!!!! That shit was the biggest pain in ass crap that I ever had to clean up off of a floor!!
posted by Backdoor Slider at 8:31 PM
4 Comments:
BS, you should have waited till Evie got back and rolled her in it. Ooohps, is that just me. LOL.
That can of molasses was indeed cursed. Remember the crock pot/slow cooker "baked beans" I bought it for?
I really don't think the beans were supposed to crunch.
*shudder*
I'm glad to hear it died a painful death in the pantry. Damn molasses.
I'm surprised our canine garbage disposal, aka Lars, wasn't slurping it up.
molasses?!?!?
what the heck is molasess?!?!?
Velma, Molasses is a dark syrup made from sugar. Very sticky and gooey. :)
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