Tuesday, June 06, 2006

My Encounter with Satan

SO there I am pulling into my driveway after a pain in the ass day at work. I open the garage door and I cruise on into the house and greet the 95 lb puppy. Lars immediately starts spazzing like he usually does. I swear my dog must have a few screws loose but hey ya gotta love the sweet puppy. I look up at the clock and see it is 6 pm. I've gone all day without the end of the world happening (though the cheesy Satan's chat on a local radio station made me want to shoot myself) so I mumble to myself about getting my lazy ass up on the treadmill it is Tuesday after all.

Anyways I let the boy in from playing outside and I change into my workout clothes. I screw around a bit watching TV and checking out the internet then realize its 7 pm. GOD DAMN IT!! "Move your ass" I say to myself and I walk into our pantry and I grab a treat for the puppy and as I am leaving I hear a thud and a crack. Well I figured it was a can of soup so I will pick it up when I make dinner after I work out.

After an hour on the treadmill I take my shower and head back downstairs to make some dinner. Once again I get greeted by a spazzing puppy who hasn't seen me in over a week!! Actually it was only a little over an hour. Like I said he has a few screws loose. Anyways I head on into the pantry to get some rice for dinner and I look down.......

aaawww MOTHER FUCKER!!!! There was Satan laughing at me!!!! What fell earlier was a jar of molasses and it had leaked out of the jar all over the floor. This crap has been sitting out for over an hour now. This shit is thick and sticky to begin with!!!!! I spent the next 45 minutes cleaning up this frikkin mess!!!

SO SCREW YOU SATAN SCREW YOU RIGHT IN THE ASS!!!! That shit was the biggest pain in ass crap that I ever had to clean up off of a floor!!


Blogger Vixxxen said...

I am sure somewhere in that story I could find some meaning with idle hands and devil's playground or whatever. But instead I ended up wondering things like what if someone did fuck Satan in the ass. Wouldn't they need like a huge industrial sized titanium dildo or something?

Erm...and on that note, sounds like it sucked and I hope today is much better for you. :)


5:51 AM  
Blogger Suze said...

BS, you should have waited till Evie got back and rolled her in it. Ooohps, is that just me. LOL.

9:00 AM  
Blogger Evilicious Blonde said...

That can of molasses was indeed cursed. Remember the crock pot/slow cooker "baked beans" I bought it for?

I really don't think the beans were supposed to crunch.


I'm glad to hear it died a painful death in the pantry. Damn molasses.

I'm surprised our canine garbage disposal, aka Lars, wasn't slurping it up.

3:00 PM  
Blogger yep, it's me.... said...

what the heck is molasess?!?!?

8:38 PM  
Blogger Evilicious Blonde said...

Velma, Molasses is a dark syrup made from sugar. Very sticky and gooey. :)

6:21 AM  

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